| Procrastination Destination |
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profileKhai Rul  Create Your Badge Hi. Do you want to be my flen too? :O I don't think I'll type my full name here it is longer than this sentence only 6 people know it woot woot. Peirce kicked me in to see Jay. Just so you know, so you know if I'm the one you know, you know? I enjoy running in circles whilst moving forward. Because it is fun you should try too. And since I run, therefore I am. :D Go figure. On another note, I just realised that this skin is pretty ugly. It's making my posts seem extremely wordy and insipid. Plus, there're no pictures because I simply don't have a camera. Hints* Hints* Well, I guess it's too late to do anything. So stfu. :) (While I think of a better profile entry.) |
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Friday, November 13, 2009Half empty or Half fullI've lost my touch. Laptop's down. And the only reason I'm online (not now) is because I went to Venice's place the other time and used windows messenger and now my account auto signs in whenever he uses his comp. O.o Anyway, as seem to show a lack of itself, I think getting straight Cs would actually be more or less a justified result (okay maybe Ds. Haha.), considering the amount of sowing I've done. Anything above, I don't deserve. And anything below, seems to be a more likely and logical picture. My expectations are at all time lows. Maybe because I want the impact to be significantly less when i get my results next year. It sucks to try to control how I want to feel. Because when I eventually can't, it just makes me feel even weaker. 4 more papers, 2 more subjects, 1 last chance. And after that, it's back to Tuesday, October 27, 2009BadlyI used to think twice before anything. Now it's worse. You're really smart. You've helped me justify a mistake. I should know my limits. 2 more weeks. So tempted to give up. But I won't. Cause it's simply the right thing to do. But what do I do after I face the music? (1:55 AM) Friday, October 23, 2009GEEEEEEEEE PEEEEEEEEEE"Here's one : What's the purpose of life? By asking this, question assumes that life is already meaningful, and so it is worthwhile to ask about what end one's life is directed towards. Which includes the search for truth (Socrates), enlightenment (Buddha), or virtuous life (Aristotle), amongst other worthy ends. Clearly an endless amount of options. And since it is difficult to establish with any certainty what the purpose of life should be, it would be meaningless to worry about how we should live it, and to live instead for the moment. Since there is no authoritative, universally agreed upon answer to what the purpose of life is, why expend all that effort on pursuing something we have no certainty of? Then again. One certainty we can have, of seeking pleasure, however fleeting, suggests that the epicurean life ought to be the purpose of our living. As long as one is happy and one's conscience is clear, why should one be compelled to accept elitist views which would favour those intellectually predisposed to an (ironically), unattainable life." It's incomplete. And yet already a fucking hornet's nest. Sigh. Should really sleep now. (11:58 PM) Thursday, October 22, 2009Who got vectors question ask me. :DI seem to have forgotten about this space. That's a good thing. Yes? Got my NS letter. And to all those who're wondering. You can take back all the 'prejudice' post-its that's been stuck on the "can't-reach" areas of my back. Because. I never. Tio. Police. Or CD. And.. that's a good thing too. Yes? :B Someone get me an army phone before 6 Feb pls thx thx. Because.. I lost Janice's. Mehe. For nowwww. I will have to just believe that I will make it. And continue studying. (Oh how we all hate to see that word.) I've understood the value of a month, a week, a day and an hour at one go. .... What else can I say. Life sucks guys. What's new manzzzzz.. Oh right. Maybe the 10k race this Sat. Which'll be the first ever 10k race I've ever ran in my entire life. (believe it or not.) Can't wait to show the running skillz that I possess. (Or the lack of it.) Heh. And I thought people would feel much happier and be trouble-free after exams. But I guess studying has actually been a buffer for reality. I'd prolly face the same thing after As. Been really hiding for a long time. Seems like there's no other way but through. No matter how thick the wall is. Maybe all we need is a crack. (1:44 AM) Friday, October 16, 2009I'm really old.I still can't believe I just graduated from CJC. 2 years back I wouldn't even think I'd make it this far. Nor would I think I'd be on a small part of the cover of the grad CD. Hoo Hoo Hoo~ ! I really want to make this a nice post. But I'm too lazy to post pictures. Or think of impactful sentences that can trigger nostalgia. Maybe tomorrow. Or the day after. Or the day after. Or the day after. *chants* (11:57 PM) Thursday, October 15, 2009I saw this coming. Still, I don't know why I let you in~Good Charlotte - Predictable (Y) Two days ago, I thought all the pessimism dry. If you get what I mean. My phone's going really low on battery life I have to carry my charger everywhere I go. If only there were sockets everywhere then I wouldn't have to look so profusely in vain. The past few days was shit. But on the bright side I managed to let everything out. (Okay maybe not everything but at least the gist of it's out.) Talking = (Y) Shutting up = (N) Managed to finish GP essay an hour ago. I need to read so much more. "Formal education is becoming increasingly irrelevant." Assess validity. VALID VALID VALID. Because if it was invalid, it wouldn't be an issue and it wouldn't even be a prelim question if it wasn't worthy enough to be an issue. Right right right? ._. I am too lazy to click on my timetable I will go to school without looking at my schedule. As it is the coolest thing one could ever do in life. To go through it unprepared and still survive. I'm unprepared. I'm surviving. Sort of. But still.. (Insert appropriate smiley.) I miss Peirceans so fucking badly. 2 months can do alot of things to things. Things that are tough, that ought to stay intact and strong can rust. Rust is.. sadly.. irreversible. I sense a one-sided cold war. And I'm not gonna do anything about it. Because that is the point. To not intensify it. Right right right? ._. (1:10 AM) Sunday, October 11, 2009Remembering SundayAWESOMESTTTTT SONGGGG EVAAA :B He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes Started making his way past two In the morning He hasn't been sober for days Leaning now into the breeze Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees They had breakfast together But two eggs don't last Like the feeling of what he needs Now this place seems familiar to him She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin She led him upstairs She led him upstairs Left him dying to get in Forgive me, I'm trying to find my calling I'm calling at night I don't mean to be a bother But have you seen this girl? She's been running through my dreams And it's driving me crazy, it seems I'm gonna ask her to marry me Even though she doesn't believe in love He's determined to call her bluff Who could deny these butterflies? They're filling his gut Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces He pleads though he tries But he's only denied Now he's dying to get inside Forgive me, I'm trying to find my calling I'm calling at night I don't mean to be a bother But have you seen this girl? She's been running through my dreams And it's driving me crazy, it seems I'm gonna ask her to marry me The neighbors said she moved away Funny how it rained all day I didn't think much of it then But it's starting to all make sense Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds Are following me in my desperate endeavor To find my whoever, wherever she may be I'm not coming back (Forgive me) I've done something so terrible I'm terrified to speak (I'm not calling, I'm not calling) But you'd expect that from me I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt (You're driving me crazy) Now the rain is just washing you out of my hair And out of my mind Keeping an eye on the world From so many thousands of feet off the ground I'm over you now I'm at home in the clouds, towering over your head I guess I'll go home now I guess I'll go home now I guess I'll go home now I guess I'll go home (12:41 AM) Thursday, October 8, 2009I thought I thought.It's really hard to get at least a 9-hour straight study session on a school day. Today I did it. It was somewhat productive. But I didn't even manage to finish one chapter of econs. (One which I didn't think was hard at all.) If As was tomorrow, I'd still get the same grades as prelims. 33/34 more days and counting. I really don't know if it's enough. But I will try my best. Grad day next week. Wonder how significant it will be to me. JC life has been... I don't know... Overwhelming I guess. Now, everyone I meet either has notes or books with them. Can't wait for the time when I meet people to have a decent meal, slack and just a chat without ever having the need to think about the fact that I'm supposed to be studying instead. I swear I can't remember the last time this happened. I have never hated subconsciousness so much before. One minute it lets you think about the effects of globalization, and then the next it lets you think about what will happen if you retain/fail/whatever. Possibilities = bane. Maybe I just have to realise that no matter where my mind takes me, it still leads me back to the fucking paper, and pen. I wrote "solace" on my notes a couple of times today. Because it was used during GP. Or maybe I was subconsciously acknowledging a desire. O.O My point is. I digress. Nuff said... Tomorrow.. will be.. a new day.. Study smart guys~ ! PS: I'm really fine. Just being an A-level student. (No sarcasm intended whatsoever.) (12:52 AM) Wednesday, September 30, 2009SignsLike I said, I should stop talking. A one-word title won't stop me because I am invincible. (HA~) I am here to declare my prelim results. They are simply.... -wait for it- -wait for it- -wait for it- -wait for it- -wait for it- Fucked Up. S S U U D guys. And then now some will start to think to themselves. "The ol' stereotyping thing must be true. This is the justification at its best." I feel that my hands have turned red. But ultimately I chose this path. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. (12:56 AM) Wednesday, September 23, 2009HiatusThe road through faith seems to be most convincing right now. "Just say a prayer. And you'll do just fine." Really? Does it really work that way? Or is it just merely motivation? It's not really working for me. (like duhh right?..) My never-ending prayers have been unheard of never-endingly and I've simply given up. I've been wondering about something for quite some time though. Whatever you practise or train up, you'll be exceptionally good in that area. Is that true? I've been in track since sec 1. That's 6 fucking years. And before that, I don't think I ran fast. Would probably even suffer from cardiac arrest if I ran >3km? O.O But after years of training 4/5 times a week, running in macritchie, bishan park, CCAB, Botanic Gardens, training with ankle weights on for a short period of time, and competing in inter-schools, I don't think 5km is any difficulty. Or running, regardless of any distance, for that matter. I must admit that I didn't know running was something to be afraid of until I began competing. But of course, it's even more scary to anyone who doesn't run at all. I used to think that I'm only mediocre, because I could never understand how some runners can run at impossible speeds, like <52secs for 400m, <2minutes for 800m or even <16 minutes for 5km. Were they born with superior genes and pray like mad that they do well or do they just simply train 7 times a week and it's really cause of hard work? I guess if you sacrifice/practise enough, you'll get what you want. And that's probably the only way to do well for A levels, sacrificing time.. Since the start of the year, I've been talking and talking. Now, there's less time to sacrifice, but there's time nonetheless. I should stop hoping so much and start walking instead. (11:11 PM) Saturday, September 19, 2009You can have my grain.too much agriculture's no good. O.O? migraine (mī'grān') Pronunciation Key A severe recurring headache, usually affecting only one side of the head, that is characterized by sharp, throbbing pain and is often accompanied by nausea, vomiting, sensitivity to light, and visual disturbances. Vasodilation in the brain causes inflammation that results in pain, but the exact cause of migraine is unknown. T5's class outing yesterday. It was. O. K. I. Guess. "Billy bombers bomb our pocket" as Swank would say. Sigh. (Envies other classes.) Last night I dreamt I was drowning in an ocean of lecture notes. I survived because I managed to hold on to a laminated certificate. It had my name. But under the 'My Grade' section there was a middle finger. And below that there was a "Wake Up". And I woke up. O.O? I'm tired of the S word. I need to educate myself further. I will. I must. I can. (2:15 PM) Thursday, September 17, 20091 + 1 = 3Everyone has blindspots. That you can be aware of but still be unable to see? Yes? O.O I think there really is a part of the world that we're literally blind to. Problem is, sometimes our blindspots shield us from things that really shouldn't be ignored. And when it comes to this, maybe our brains arent merely compensating for the surplus of visual ones. Maybe they're just protecting us. Wth joke srsly. Last paper tomorrow. MCQ.. So.. can.. slack.. abit.. HEH. (7:50 PM) Monday, September 14, 2009LwoisneI just lost a battle I was supposed to win. Complacency you are a CB. (12:44 AM) Thursday, September 10, 2009Meaningless.I've never felt so fucked up in my life before. Everybody should seriously just quit JC. There's a far better world out there. (9:08 PM) |
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